intermission

i've been reading a lot lately and i've discovered that there is a common motif in almost all the books i read.. given, i tend to like romance novels. it starts out with a damsel in distress, stuck in an unhappy relationship, then is swooned by a perfect man that happens to be everything she's looking for. they proceed on to living happily ever after, leaving the initial man in the shadows, without expressing an ounce of regret or shame in her infidelity-- emotional or physical. superficially, there is no better ending to the story. she finds the love of her life, and readers are left with warm and fuzzy feelings inside, believing that love happens by chance.

this upsets me. like really, really pisses me off. i grew up reading these sorts of books, believing that love comes easy. that there really is someone out there for me that is a perfect complement to me. he makes up for what i lack, and vice versa. books never talk about the realities of life, because buddha forbid, everyone wants an idealistic image of what love and life should be. easy. but it's never this way. love, first and foremost, is loyal. love is honest. love is open. if you are not happy in a relationship, leave it. i hate being fully aware that "cheating" in the eyes of my general public, only refer to physicality. intimacy. sex. things that are easily given, nearly meaningless in the 21st century. sincerely, i believe that cheating falls under a much broader spectrum. if you aren't loving the way you know you can and should, don't cheat them of their time. don't cheat them of their efforts. and don't cheat them of their emotion. don't take their hearts knowing you have no intentions of nurturing it. please, don't.

secondly, love is a commitment. love shouldn't just be about the adrenaline, the attraction, the spontaneity. love is about a compromise made between two people, to stick together regardless of how distant and unfamiliar the honeymoon phase seems. loving someone is a choice: to take care of them, treasure them, appreciate them. i used to always think to myself, "what if there's better? what if someone out there is looking for me? what if i'm settling?" but i've realized that these are questions that i can ALWAYS ponder. i can be 85, wrinkly, and alone, still thinking that the best is yet to find. realistically, if you're always looking for something better, how do you know when you've found the best? how do you know it's time to pull the plug on your search? easily, you'll miss chances you could've had with the best if you stay fickle. i believe that if the commitment is mutual, the love will be everlasting. people think love is meant to be a smooth ride, but it's not. that's the beauty of love! still finding it in yourself to love someone even when shit goes down is selfless and beautiful. remember, there's no such thing as being perfect.

side note: divorce is so prevalent in our society that marriage has become a laughing matter. vows have become empty words, because people do not understand the seriousness of matrimony. the idea of separation, especially after children are born, drives me insane. how selfish. how wrong. how immature, for parents to think it's okay to leave their children with the burdens of their relationship. WORK IT OUT, DAMMIT. for the sake of your children! for the sake of my sanity! a lot of times divorce is a result of infidelity, which really sucks.. but then i get twice as upset, because who has the heart to cheat on their significant others? who cheats on their family? what is earth! what have we become?

back to the point of this quick rant.. it's rather depressing how i feel empowered by living vicariously through these heartless women who don't seem to be phased the consequences to their hasty actions. if they were real women, i'd asking them.. do you not feel bad for being sluts? i guess it's cool chasing what your heart wants, but doesn't your conscience catch up with you? how do you do it? can you teach me?