while there is little i remember about our time together, i recall parts of you that deeply remind me of who i used to be. head in the clouds, no feet on the ground—we'd sway, aimless, lacking focus, purpose and intention.
with growing years apart, i've been able to boil down that experience with you to an essence: longing.
then me romanticized the conviction as dreamlike, but now me calls it comatose. the state of wanting to wake up to something real existed only because what we had lacked a conscience.
for years after, that longing left me with a void i didn't know how to fill.
i fought to find clarity through the remembrance of you, only to find things about myself that i wanted to forget.
to feel complete again, i looked to supplement parts of me i thought i had given away. but in the process of facing myself to cure myself, there were no signs of damage. no symptoms of loss, pain or ache.
to me, you were a lesson that helped me find my footing and refind a whole self that always existed.
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