shouting whispers

1. thank you for constantly reminding me that i am surrounded by people who love and care for me. i've always been a very dependent person. i tend to deem my self worth through the reassurance of others. this form of self deficit has left me with a gaping void that i try to fill with relationships and other forms of superficial attention. you are the constant reminder popping up in my head right before i want to give into temptations saying, "we all love you! you have us!" and for once in my life, i am more than happy to take hold of the many hands around me instead of just that one pair that leaves once conditions have expired. if in 50 years, i end up being an isolated, dark, little creature, i will always come out of my cave for you. your name is engraved on my placard of lifelong friends. i love you dearly.

2. even though we've parted ways, i will always appreciate the good that you have done for me. at times when i seriously reconsidered existence, you held me up the best you could. when i wanted to give up on myself and on life, you put things into perspective. my idealistic tendencies balanced out with your quite logical self, and you brought the concept of reality into my picture. people don't know the full extent of our situation, but we know very well that our love was, and will be, very much real. being in a relationship doesn't define how much you love a person or how much you're willing to sacrifice for them. knowing what's best for each other is often times the hardest thing to carry out in action.. but we did it! we developed an understanding of each other and ourselves through this experience. i will forever be grateful to you for helping me realize that i'm not to blame, i'm not bad, and i'm not broken. i still feel very much loved, supported, and cared for, even if your hands are not here for me to hold. 

3. time for you to get your act together. you can't make excuses of anyone or anything holding you back anymore. now that you have this long awaited freedom, make the best of it. do what makes you happy, so you'll be happy. don't dwell on things that make you sad, or you'll stay sad. sounds basic as shit, but don't scoff til you've mastered the arts. to clarify, it's okay to be sad, but only when there's a reason to be.. cry a little if you need to, scream occasionally if you want. i know you like being depressed, but you need to cut that out. no one likes a debbie downer. not even you.