shouting whispers

5 things I want to say to 5 people
an ode to what was, what is, and what will be.

1. it was like something from a movie. seeing you approach from a distance, and feeling my heart drop. it wasn't the good kind of drop either. i didn't remember the love, if ever it existed. i can't seem to retrace the steps of how we go to where we are now either. all that i remembered was the hurt, the betrayal, and the fucking mess you made me. then my hands began to quiver. it's not even about the time it takes to heal, it's about whether or not you care enough to keep me a part of your life. so here's my declaration to you, that i'm not going to wait for you. i have physically, mentally, and emotionally shut you out of my life, and i don't care to ever have you back.

2. i can't believe i'm saying this, but i finally don't care about you. it's been a never ending cycle of me trying to be friends, and you just milking the fact that i still had a spot in my heart for you. you can't manipulate me into thinking that you're a good guy anymore, because at the end of the day, all the facts are there. you're an asshole, and you did not, and you do not deserve for me to care for you.

3. i know you've been hurt so i can't bear the thought of me hurting you in any way. because of this, i never want to tell you how i feel, what i want, or what i need. needless to say, i know you're going to read this, so i won't say anymore. but please understand that i have been hurt too.

hardly sane,
mainly insane
CMD