love me til death do me part

i'm going to be straight up with you. you have a fucking problem. you've always been so easy to mold and manipulate. you need to find a better middle ground between being someone's something and being yourself. i feel so bad for you. with every relationship, you transform into a foreign form of Christine, and after the expected break up, you aren't sure which shell of Christine to crawl back into. you swear every failure is because of your shortcomings. you're so scared of being yourself, because you feel like it might threaten the security you might find in another. all the while, the only time you catch glimpses of you is when you're single. you finally feel liberated and free when you realize that there's the sky to roam, but when you figure out that you have absolutely no direction, you get scared and crawl back into your cage. you want someone to hold your hand and take flight with you in case you get lost, but you shouldn't expect life to be a constant walk for two. life is something that's meant for you, and you alone, to figure out. you should appraise the value of your life based on your own happiness and calling. don't compromise yourself for the sake of a relationship. you can't be a settler. you have this awful gift of making something out of nothing. if you feel like safety is a guarantee, you stay put. you always want to be a complement, not a whole. if you can counter argue anything i just said, please feel free to speak up. but from an outsiders perspective, and as one of your best friends, i want you to know you're not being yourself. i'm dying for you to un-evolve. let's go retrace your steps, pick up the lost pieces of yourself, and put you back together.