bad is not good, but it's okay

"you're a good person, but you fucked up. i'm a good person too. i didn't deserve the bullshit you put me through. you know, this is how good people turn bad. they get hurt. they see that good people are not that good. that's when they realize they have a similar darkness in them too."

i tried to say something. i wanted to explain myself. i've always been good with expressing myself, but i couldn't find any words when i needed them the most. my mind was distracted with the possibility of understanding. i sat quietly until i heard the taunting beeps of the disconnected line. my eyes welled up, but i didn't know if they were happy tears or sad tears.

i felt a wave of forgiveness, for myself and for others.

i finally found my explanation.  

i gave the best of me to all the worst people, and the worst of me to all the best people. as a result, i became a byproduct of their mistakes. but people, whether good or bad, are human. humans fuck up. it happens.

i've always thought of myself as a good person but not so much anymore. it's relieving knowing we were all good at some point in time though. if wrong has been done unto you, forgive for what has been done unto them. more importantly, forgive yourself. we're all unintentional monsters.