frigid

for the majority of my life, i've expected certain actions to warrant certain outcomes. the action is one i take, for the most part, intentionally, because of the proponent that follows. i drink water, so i'm no longer thirsty. i sleep, so i'm no longer tired. it's the way things always are, it's the way things should be. if there wasn't a problem that needed to be solved, there'd be no reason to seek solutions.
so if you weren't thirsty, you wouldn't drink water? 
if you weren't tired, you wouldn't sleep?
i suppose those are faulty examples, for they're necessities in life. bare bones for surviving-- physically, at least. however, tending to yourself, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, isn't essential to "living," per se. i find that i focus on those facets of well-being, only when getting by is no longer satisfactory. to live an unfulfilled life is unsustainable. you lose your mind. you become a mechanism, driven by obligation without a purpose, responsibility without a mission.
are you familiar with maslow's hierarchy of needs? 
i am.
do you agree with them?
not entirely. i do agree with the first subset of needs; physiological demands that fuel the human engine. but second on the rank is safety. "security" of resources, employment, health, what have you.. but security is subjective and fleeting. i'd bet that most people will never have these second set of needs met entirely. and to think that love, belonging, and intimacy follow after security? then esteem? THEN self-actualization? that's a shame.
how would you rank your order of needs?
first, basic needs, as foremetioned. then self-actualization. i think love and esteem are synonymous, so that's tied for third. security's last, but the order isn't exclusive. i'm actively working towards that too.
you think love and esteem are synonymous? touch on that. 
well, the love that you want from others should be the love you should want for yourself, from yourself. when you're able to appreciate yourself in that manner, you perceive yourself differently. you accept your flaws, the way you'd expect a lover to. you forgive yourself, the way your family would. you respect yourself, and once you do, you find that it's hard to feel disrespected by others.
well put.
self-actualization is what i crave constantly. learning to tag team with my mind in order to stabilize my emotions, and be fluid things that are out of my control. adaptability and grit are two characteristics i'm certain i posses because i've chosen to prioritize my needs this way.
why did you come to me today?
yes, about what i spoke to earlier-- actions and outcomes. i have an instance in my mind, where there's been a sure fire disconnect between the two. actions, "being," outcome, "absent." the expected outcome is a norm, even beyond my standards.
1+1 always equals 2, but 1+1 in this instance is undefined. 
exactly.
i see what you're getting at. you've always been a clever one.
thanks doc.
i think you're assuming that there are two 1's in the equation, so you're expecting the sum to be 2. are you sure that it's 1+1, not 1+0? i'm not saying that's the reason, but give it some thought. 
what if i'm the 0. what if i'm the reason our summation is undefined.
"our"? so there's more than one of you in this equation.
i thought you said you knew what i was getting at.
child, the purpose of these is for you to be open. you find it hard to be honest with me, do you find it equally as hard to be honest with yourself?

*dial tone*