for my sake

don't feel guilty about the bad decisions you've made in your life. regardless of how irrational your actions may seem now, don't blame yourself for not knowing better. at some point in time, what you did was exactly what you wanted to do. it made you happy. it made you satisfied. it fulfilled a need that you wanted to be met. you can choose to believe that if you hadn't done it, you'd be better off. but i think you're best off where you're at now. if you hadn't made those bad decisions, you would've just made them further down the line. you'd still want what you didn't go for. yeah, you'll fuck up every now and them. but if you didn't make that mistake, you wouldn't have learned. you wouldn't have known better. you would've stayed at that exact point in your life, wondering, "what would have happened? what could have been? would i have been better off?" now that all is said and done, at least you know how to answer your own questions. and i honestly think you would've been happier knowing you made a conscious decision to do what would make you happy, even if it was only for a second. you were in control. it's always better to live in the now. you don't know what lies ahead of you, regardless of how much you insist that you're in partial control of your future. if you can make yourself happy, do it while you can. fuck what other people are gonna say. especially fuck what other people are gonna think. you don't know what goes on in their minds, nor do they know what goes on in yours. don't live in fear of consequences. live in fear of regret.