flowers bloom in dark rooms

you talk about things as if you know me. as if how you remember me accurately defines who i am now. in every way, you're wrong. i hate you for everything you've done to me, everything you've ever been to me. you purposely broke me to pieces, no.. ground me to dust, knowing that you had that power over me. i stayed in that cycle long enough for the scars to become permanent. i became a defective good, left on shelves for half price, being picked up quickly only because i am appreciated for my ability to feel at a low cost. anything decent you've ever been is severely outweighed by the completely insensitive asshole you had the potential to be. the fucked up, unstable douche bag who left and came as you pleased, without any permanence in your residency. you knew i didn't know any better. but you did. you knew exactly what you were doing but regardless, chose to drag me around at the cost of my innocence. for that reason and the many others that justify why i still torment your guilt ridden soul, i will never allow you to be anything more than just a figment of my thoughts that i mutter curse words to under my breath.

still..

let me take a moment to thank you for helping me realize that the goodness that once was in my heart, was something that needed to be seriously reevaluated. i'm glad i learned that lesson early on. people aren't like me, the old me. the one that was always pure in thoughts. the one that was a firm believer in choosing to love fearlessly. that part of me has become so far lost that i have deliberately chosen to forever abandon it. i couldn't have gone anywhere worse than where you brought me. so yeah, thank you for being so fucked up and bringing me down to the devilish hells of your heart because ever since, i've only been looking up for the light.