mostly fiction

"One of the things I struggle with most is being honest with myself. It's hard acknowledging that something is wrong if I know that requires me to put myself in uncomfortable situations. The thing I am afraid of most is being alone. Being alone means being forgotten, being lonely, and slowly depreciating in value because no one wants me anymore. My heart is a prison and I am held captive of the truth. I know I shouldn't resort to and depend on outwardly love when I can't even summon a love for myself. The many flaws that so clearly consume my happiness are irrelevant so long as I can get a quick fix, I'll take care of the rest later. Truth is, I know I am taking the easy way out. I'm always hoping that one day, I'll be saved by someone as broken and fucked up as I am. But for now, love is enough if it is tangible, and it is tangible so long as I am willing to sacrifice my entity as reciprocation. I'm always looking for answers I might have missed from my past that will be guided by the idea of my future."