Tears and Facing Fears

Soon it will be a "Happy (Would Have Been)"

These past few month or so, I have become great acquaintances with John Mayer. Without hesitation, I can say that I do believe him to be nothing short of a lyrical genius. And every night, he and I take on my fears together.

Here is what I have learned (Part 1 of many):

I never seem to understand the seriousness of a break up. I am an antsy person, an anxious person. I do not want to wait for anyone or anything, and so I don't. When I fall in love, I fall hard, and I fall fast. I guess maybe that attributes to why I move on fast, too. It is easy for me to act as though nothing has happened, just because I do not want to realize that I am left abandoned again. I bury my anguish and my demise and cover them with a smile.. then try my best to pretend it never happened. I don't forget, and I never seem to face my problems.

But truth of the matter is that it happened. It was real. It isn't a dream Christine, so snap out of it and grow the fuck up. You have to face your fears despite how much it hurts and how scary it is walking back on memory lane yourself. No one can hold your hand through every obstacle in your life. It does not matter whether or not he loves you anymore, the important thing is whether or not you can still love yourself.

I'll fall asleep with roses in my hand
CMDZOU