Columbus to my Soul

I've always been a generally angry person,
which is a terrible thing to admit.. let alone realize.
I'm always in a constant battle with myself;
Either I choose to be ignorant and avoid the issue at hand,
or I am spiteful, vengeful, and angry.
With me, there is really no such thing as forgiving.

For those who do not know me,
they may think that this is all that I am.
A bipolar, uncontrollable being.
A probable waste of heart beats, oxygen, and love.
A selfish, self deprecating nuisance.

I can choose to laugh,
at those who think they know,
but know they do not.
Or I can choose to cry,
because of the impression I give,
but give I do not mean to.

This entry, is by all means, a reminder,
to myself to see myself,
not the way they see me.
I am not who they see me as,
I am not who they want me to be.
They want me to fail, to fall.

I will prove to them,
I will prove to myself,
that I am so much more than a familiar face,
a body without substance.

They as in:
my self doubts,
my insecurities,
and my fears.

My fears as in:
being left alone,
not being loved,
not being perfect.

Don't let fear take ahold of your entity,
you will never win.

Tell me when you hear my falling.
Tell me when you hear my heart stop.
Tell me when you hear my silence.